Stone Pictured Lapis Lazuli... here
Amazing week of deep learning.
I wonder how this time is for you?
For me, it hasn't stopped being a full-time ride since December 8th,
When I received the news that a fire had broken out near Ojai.
A time of deep inquiry, insight, growth and new territory.
Months of change... across landscapes,
friendships, business, and support structures.
What a journey.
Recently, a friend reflected to me her deep disappointment
in how I had shown up for her at a time when she needed my support.
What a practice to sit with the all the "voices" that arise at this moment.
The moment you have let down someone who is deeply important to you.
My "voices" sounded something like this...
but really loud, all at once and with a shortness of breath.
The Rule Maker and The Judge want desperately to defend
or blame the circumstances.
The Critic standing with arms crossed tsking...
that knowing " I told you so" frown spread across his face.
The Pusher (who for me is so tied to my spirituality,
so I call that voice The Spiritual Pusher)
You might recognize her she is the one who's voice says
"After all these years of teachings? You obviously need more work."
And the Disowned Child.
That grubby little one who's heart is breaking once again
with proof she can never be loved.
What a cacophony of distraction from the most important piece.
My friend is hurting.
To give her my undivided attention and understanding seems paramount.
But without awareness and and knowing of the Truth of who I am...
I am sunk.
We all live with these voices or a "system of selves",
usually developed in early life as strategies for survival.
Unfortunately many of us forget
that the voices are not us.
And not The Truth.
We can gain awareness and choose what to believe.
Honesty - Choice - Freedom.
With Love, The Door is Open
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